托福独立写作范文解析
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托福独立写作题目相对而言比较多,针对独立写作部分的备考我们要更多的总结规律,通过总结来节省备考时间。下面小编就和大家分享托福独立写作范文解析,希望能帮助到大家,来欣赏一下吧。
托福独立写作范文解析 如何写好文章
Essay Topic
Which one is the most important for teacher of high school?
1. The ability to help students plan for their future;
2. The ability to find the students who need help most and help them;
3. Teach students how to learn outside the classroom.
就这道题来讲,题型基本结构的选择有两种:三项能力都重要,但是第一项最重要;或者,第一项是重要的,而第二项和第三项是不重要的。其他的文章结构都是这两种的变体。我们拿第二种结构举例:
总论点:规划未来能力最重要(vs.发现需要帮助的同学&教会自学)
主体段1:学生最需要规划,而只有老师有能力提供
主体段2:发现需要帮助的能力不重要,因为学生自己会来找
主体段3:课外自学不重要,高中生没有课外时间
The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely the most important capability for high school teachers.
To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidance about their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it. I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a great portion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement for graduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in the US, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games or love affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choice of universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made matters worse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidance concerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, but simply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority of our parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the college application process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is an utter mistake, for what they did was simply giving us the timeline of the application process, translating our personal statements and recommendation letters from Chinese into English, and finally mailing out all our materials to the US. All of these simple tasks could be performed by ourselves, and these misfortunes surely could have been avoided if we had the luck to meet more competent teachers, with the ability to warn students and their parents about the black-hearted agencies and lay out lucid plans for students’ future.
The capability to find the students who need assistance most and help them, on the other hand, is not that imperative. The reason for this is quite simple, since high school students would come to teachers voluntarily if they are in serious trouble. In other words, many times students don’t want to be bothered by a teacher who treats them like a baby-sitter. As for the “help” part, I firmly hold the faith that all teachers are already equipped with the willingness to solve student’s problem gladly, using their prehistoric powers, no matter how difficult the situation can be. So the willingness to help students should be the minimum standard to be qualified as a teacher.
Similarly, the skill to teach students how to learn outside the classroom is completely unnecessary. For one, most high school students have no time outside their classrooms at all, as all their spare time is already occupied by cram school or by extracurricular activities. Even in the rare circumstance that some students may have free time, parents could always play the part of their instructor on how to self-study.
本篇文章在结构的处理上,做到了清晰、简单。第一个主体段在证明第一项能力是非常必要的。第二、三主体段在分别证明第二、三项能力是不重要的。整个段落结构很明确。这样会更容易获得高分。大家要注意避免结构过于复杂和混乱。
如何丰富整篇文章的结构?
大家经常会有疑惑的问题就是:我的三个主体段全部都是讲故事,好像手法太单一了,会不会被扣分?如何丰富?
答案是:有可能;以及,偶尔的使用纯解释型段落。
众所周知,TOEFL写作中展开手法有两种,exemplification和explanation。例证显然是二者中更简单的一个。因此,大部分同学都更倾向于使用例证。因为它更容易快速上手,并且大家可以通过举例来展开具体化的细节,从而获得高分。但注意,如果三个主体段全部是讲故事展开,未免会有语言太差的嫌疑。因此,除了例证,我们文章中最好可以稍微涉及到一些说理部分。
举例和说理分别的优势?
大家现在可以重新观察一下范文三个主体段的展开手法。三个主体段一共444字。其中第一段259字,第二段116字,第三段69字。第一段的展开手法为例证(讲故事),第二、三段均为解释。
大家明显感受到例证的优势即为能够更轻松的展开出有效并具体化的细节,或俗称“好凑字”。解释的好处为语言简练,表达效率高,文章的递进性、节奏会更紧凑。
举例和说理分别的劣势?
例证在TOEFL写作中并无太明显的劣势。解释的劣势就比较明显了。同样的一个分论点,有的同学用例证可以很轻松写到200字,而解释只能说到100字。有的同学可能有个刻板印象:讲故事的语言通常比较简单,句式单一,因此不容易得高分。注意,讲故事语言和句式也是可以复杂的;或者大家可以选择简单但地道的表达,可同样可以获得满分。
答题战略、以及举例和说理的优劣小结
因此我们以后考场上的答题战略很简单。第一段为例证段落。目的为使劲凑字,尽量直接写满200字。第二、三段可以选择简短的小故事或者解释性段落,分别写到60~100字左右。这样主体段已经达到至少320字,再加上开头结尾段,可以轻松满足350字的字数要求。
如何练好说理?
说理对语言和句式的要求要明显高于例证。因此一定要有扎实的基本功的支持才能够写出漂亮的说理段落。关于句式的练法,可以参考强化班上的句型基本构成以及句型转化练习。
如何练好例证?
例证的套路大家都很熟悉。很多同学的问题出在没思路上。比如,一道题目问说:我们的闲钱应该拿去旅游好,还是存到银行好?有同学说,存起来更好,因为可以未雨绸缪。这是一个很好的分论点,那么如何以例证的方式来展开呢?有同学说可以使用反证法:我有一个朋友Foosen,他就不存钱,后来他就死的很惨。用此例来强调存钱的必要性。大部分同学都能够想到这一步,问题会处在如何用故事来展开死的很惨,以及什么事情导致Foosen死的很惨。我们来看一篇范文:
To begin with, as a young man living in a big city, I need to start saving up from now on, because there are a lot of things in the future costing tons of money. Take my good friend Foosen for example. He is an optimistic guy who prefers to seize the day. He can spend all his salary within just two days either on luxuries or on trips. Before he was even 22, he already went around the whole Africa. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. Last year during his trip to South Africa, he accidentally broke his leg and had to go through surgery. However, since he could not cover the expense, he had to call everybody to borrow money. It took so long for him to collect the money that the surgery was delayed. As a result, the recovery period for him was 2 months longer than everyone else’s. Now, this example might be a particular instance, and it is out of his expectation. Nonetheless, in today’ssociety, even the potential spending within our expectation is already quite worrying. For instance, in Beijing, if I wish to purchase a 30-squaremeter apartment, it would cost me over 3 million yuan; if I want to invite, say, 20 friends to my wedding, I would have to pay over 200,000 yuan; not to mention if I have a child and want to support his education, it would cost at least 50,000 yuan per year just for him to go to kindergarten. It aches mejust to look at these horrifying numbers. If I don’t save up for my future, there would be no future. (275 words)
故事描述了主人公Foosen,由于是乐天派并且坚持活在当下,进而展开月光、全世界各地旅游;到之后有一次意外摔断腿,需要做手术,但没有存钱,从而导致恢复期比普通人长了两个月。大部分的同学就是这些故事的“细节”想不到,或者没思路。如何解决?很简单,就是多看。因为讲故事并没有一个明显的模式或公式可以使用。
其实就是我们中学老师总说的那句话,“量的积累产生质的飞跃。”大家想练好例证,只需要找到优秀的讲故事型范文,仿写10篇左右,自然会掌握规律。
托福写作:题库范文附思路解析
1. Doing work: by hand or using machines? Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
『分析』分情况。有些事情适合用手做,比如:洗衣服:有些人就喜欢用手洗衣服(wash clothes),而不用洗衣机(laundry machine)。写字:不用电脑,而坚持用笔,基本上只有50岁以上的人才干得出来。很多的事情只能手工去作(举例);而另外也有很多事情只能用机器去做(举例)。还有一些事情要二者结合才可以,比如统计工作。搜集数据(collect data),往往更依赖人工(manual work);数据处理(data processing/manipulating),最好由计算机完成。相关题目:[140]
『范文』 Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer to use machines. I definitely fall into the latter category. I use a machine for almost all of the work I do. The reasons why I prefer to use machines are that most hand work is tedious, machines are faster and more efficient, and I am more proficient with most machines. Two things that I spend a copious amount of time doing are writing and sewing. Both of these endeavors border on pain if I do not have a computer or a sewing machine, respectively. What was once a fun task becomes very monotonous, and no longer enjoyable. Using a machine can turn ordinary tasks into exciting ones. Using machines to do work is also much faster and more efficient than using your hands to do it. For example, if I wrote this essay by hand, rather than using the computer, it would probably take me at least five times as long. Hand sewing a shirt would take ten times longer than using a machine to do the same work. Not only are machines faster and more efficient, I am much more proficient using machines than I am doing the same work by hand. I find that when I am sewing by hand, all of my seams are very uneven and crooked. However, when I sew on a machine, my seams are perfect. The machine helps to keep my hand in line, therefore I can turn out a much better product. It is the same for writing essays. My handwriting is messy at times. If I had written a paper, I cannot correct it as easily as if I had written it on the computer. My writing blurs together, and sometimes I cannot even read what I have written down. Machines are definitely a better way for me to work efficiently, proficiently, and enjoyably. 102. Should schools ask students to evaluate their teachers? Schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
2. 『分析』有保留地同意 (agree with reservations)。学生在评判教师时,是否全部学生都可以客观评价(objective evaluation)?是否有足够的能力(包括academic knowledge等等)去进行客观评价? 如果采取了这样的方式,就会出现老师迎合(cater to/ pander to/ play up to students' taste)学生而不是引导 (guide; lead)学生,违背了教育的原则。保留意见/这种方式:允许学生进行评价,但是应该作为一个参考,同时要有其他的评判方式。参见:[97]
『范文』 Teachers have a very difficult job in society. They not only have to learn how to teach material effectively, but also must learn how to deal with a wide variety of personalities. While teaching is a difficult job, I think it is important for schools to ask students to evaluate their teachers. I think this is the right thing to do because it encourages teachers to try their best, it gives students the opportunity to choose effective teachers, and it allows the schools to have the best teachers possible teaching. If a teacher knows that at the end of the term, the students will be evaluating his/her work, then the teacher will be driven to do a very good job. If there is no pressure from evaluation, a teacher might be prone to doing a less than perfect job. I believe that everyone needs an occasional evaluation to ensure they are doing their job correctly. In the case of a teacher, the students will give the most important evaluations. If there was a public summary of which teacher scored the highest on his/her evaluations, then students would be able to take courses based on which teacher was the best at the job. This would allow students to excel in their studies, and achieve better grades. Finally, if schools ask students to evaluate their teachers, the schools themselves would be able to have the best teachers working on campus. If a teacher scored too low on an evaluation, a replacement could be found. This is a much better method than waiting for students to complain about a teacher. Teachers do have a difficult job, but regardless of this, they must excel at it. If a person is a particularly poor teacher, the students will not learn the required material, and suffer for it.
3. The most important characteristic that a person can have to be successful in life In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question. 参见:[15]、[27]
『范文』 To be successful in life, one should have the characteristic of independence, that is, he/she has the ability to think critically. By critical thinking, one is capable of analyzing insightfully, concentrating on the right target, thereby making a wise decision. Thinking critically can enable one to analyze problems insightfully. We live in a world where controversial issues are often simply taken for granted. For example, most people are reluctant to think carefully about issues like whether boys and girls should take separate classes. Recently a high school in Beijing announced that their students from then on take separate classes. Many parents support such ridiculous decision without careful consideration. They are poor thinkers. Critical thinking is but to ask some simple yet essential questions, which always brings amazing sometimes appalling outcomes. Is such a scheme capable of eliminating underage sexual behaviors among adolescents? Is such a scheme guarantee boys and girls free of negative effects? Sadly, the decision had been made but the question left unanswered. Thinking critically can help one concentrate on right targets. We all have only and exactly 24 hours a day, but we often have mountainous work to do in hands, along with which many personal affairs seem equally urgent. Concentrating on right targets is probably the only way to overcome such dilemmas. For example, ETS has recently announced that GRE examination will be transformed back to paper based test. Grumbles are all around, and complains are posted almost on every BBS on the Internet. But if students think critically, however, they will find out the simple fact that even if ETS had made an awkward decision, test preparers should concentrate on the right target—preparing test as prudently as possible, and at the same time, grumbling never helps. Only by thinking critically can one make decisions wise and prudent. Sound decision making is essential to success. Decisions such as which movie theater we should go tonight are simple enough to make by tossing a coin, but decisions such as which university or which major we should choose are complicated enough so that we need careful comparisons. A comparison sheet will help a lot, simply by listing several relevant questions such as "Am I really interested in this major?" or "Are there more opportunities in the city where the university locates?" By analyzing insightfully and concentrating on the right targets, wise decisions are not hard to reach at all.
4. Artists' contribution or scientists' contribution, which is more valuable? It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.
『分析』不要急于选择;一定要进行比较陈述科学家做出的贡献陈述艺术家做出的贡献在不同的时期(比如战争时期vs和平时期),二者做出的贡献不同。参见:范文
『范文』 Art and science are essentially a strange coupling. Yet more often than not, they are considered as divergent rather than consistent with each other. The artist employs image and metaphor; the scientist uses number and equation. By casual juxtaposition, these two fields seem to have little in common: there are few, if any, references to art in any standard textbook of science; art historians rarely interpret an artist's work in light of the conceptual framework of science. Despite what appear to be irreconcilable differences, however, they do have at least one thing in common—both of them have significant contribution to the society, but through probably distinctive way. The development of science and technology has always accompanied the progress of the society. The invention of the steam engine brought a new era of thrift of world economy; the employment of electricity has multiplied the productivity and virtually reproduced limited resources on the Earth; the innovation of computer technologies has made the Earth a little village and connected distant countries as a single market. While sometimes the progress of science and technology, such as that of human cloning, cause troubles or originate dilemmas, it seems always undeniable that in a broad sense, the development of science has provided people a much higher standard of living than that of their counterparts in any phrase of the history. Visualization and fascination have been the major power of any form of art. For example, any' religion in this world cannot exist without music, which helps realize the faith of the church to an astonishing extent. Each and every revolution on this earth was accompanied by numerous corresponding art productions, because the artists sense the circumstances, and then reflect their sensations with sophisticated techniques in their production, which can be easily perceived by the public through powerful empathy. Nobody could evaluate art as correct or not standard, needless to say the public, they simply feel it is good or not, therefore art has always had magic influence on the public and society in general. However, it's been said that there is no science without fancy and no art without facts. Science fictions have long been functioning as a major vehicle for the public dissemination of science; scientists share parallel view of space, time and light, etc. with artists. Not only are art and science interrelated with each other but they also contribute to each other in various way. Therefore, it is hard to compare the contributions of art and science, it is simply partial to say that either one contributes more to the society than another does.
5. Living in university housing or in an apartment in the community? Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of living in an apartment in the community. Where would you prefer to live? Give reasons for your preference.
『分析』一定要进行比较。住在宿舍的优缺点:便宜(不用付或者付很少的租金;很少的交通费用);方便;但是可能不自由自己租房子住的优缺点:自由;安静;干净;但是费用高 (也许合租的话,就会便宜很多)。根据自己的情况进行选择
『范文』 Being a new student at a university is an excitement. Choosing where to live, whether on campus in a dormitory, or off campus in an apartment, is in fact quite a big decision. Both of these options have their relative benefits. Living in a dormitory has many advantages over living off campus. For example, one has the opportunity to meet dozens of new students. One is usually placed in a room with a roommate, who can help with homework, and give much needed support during difficult times. Another advantage of living in a dormitory is not having to cook food. Most students coming to a university have lived their whole lives with their parents, and inexpert at preparing food, for they were not in charge of the cooking in home. Many students who first learn to cook their own food while going to school eat a very unhealthy diet. On top of this, many students are so preoccupied with their studies that they do not have time to cook a nutritious meal. Therefore, the fact that the dormitories include a cafeteria is very beneficial. However, living off campus has its advantages as well. In most situations, one has much more freedom to do what they want in these living conditions. For instance, one can stay up late studying or come home late without disturbing a roommate. Also, one is not limited to the cafeteria food if he/she is a particular eater. Living by oneself also has its benefits. One never has to deal with rude or messy roommates. Overall, I think that both of these options are good choices. However, I recommend that first or second year students live in a dormitory, and perhaps wait until they are older and more accustomed to university life before venturing out on their own. This way, one gets the best of both worlds: the camaraderie of living with many people and the independence of living by oneself.
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