别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石

别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石

Does anxiety lead you to hesitate and second-guess yourself?  When you think of starting a new project or going into a group situation with people you don’t know, do you feel butterflies in your stomach or a sense of dread? Do you come up with lots of reasons not to do a potentially fun or profitable activity that has some degree of risk, like joining a hiking club or volunteer organization  posting your dating profile online, getting fit, starting a blog, or turning your hobby into a small business?  Do you do tons of research but not take the next step to turn your ideas into action?  If this is you, anxiety and excessive caution may be getting in your way and stopping you from going after your dreams and living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Avoidance feeds on itself and makes you less confident, while getting started and taking action creates a positive cycle that naturally helps your anxiety go down. But where do you begin? The strategies below provide a roadmap for moving forward and taking the first step towards the life you long for!
你有没有过因为焦虑而优柔寡断、自我怀疑？开始一个新项目，或是想融入一个新的群体，心里会不会七上八下、忐忑不安甚至有些恐惧？参加徒步旅行俱乐部、或是加入自愿组织在网上晒自己的约会档案、减肥、写博客、把自己的的爱好做成事业......这些事情看上去既有趣又有意义，你心生向往跃跃欲试，但最终是不是还是为自己编了一堆理由放弃，只因为其中可能存在的风险？是不是做了无数研究但就是没法做出行动把想法变成现实？如果这是你，那么焦虑和过度谨慎可能已经妨碍你追逐梦想、过上有意义且充实的生活。逃避只会恶性循环让你更加不自信，而开始行动则会建立正向回路让你自然而然减少焦虑。那么怎么开始呢？以下的策略提供了一条向前进的路，为你开启追求理想生活的第一步！

Don’t Wait for Your Anxiety to Go Down
不要坐等焦虑减轻！

Your anxiety is likely wired in as part of your temperament and won’t just go down on it’s own.  Our human brains are hard-wired not to like uncertainty, unpredictability and change and some of us are just anxiety-prone by nature.  However, when you take action towards your goals despite the anxiety and you actually survive the experience, your brain begins to label uncertainty as less dangerous.  Over time, you build a sense of self-efficacy - you begin to see yourself as someone who can take action and be successful even when you're feeling anxious.
焦虑植根于我们的天性之中，它不会自己减轻。人类的大脑生来就憎恶不确定性、不可预计性和变化，只是有些人天生焦虑易感性更高。然而当你顶着焦虑采取行动朝着目标迈进时，大脑会重新评估，并告诉你其实不确定性也没有那么危险，这就是成功的第一步。随着时间的推移，慢慢地你会建立一种自我效能感，即使感到焦虑，你也会认为自己有行动能力并且能够通过行动获得成功。

Set a Realistic Goal That Makes Sense for You
设立适合自己的、符合实际的目标！

We all have different personalities, temperaments. and preferences.  We don’t all want to be lawyers, have hundreds of friends, run marathons, be super-skinny and live in a mansion.  Anxiety makes you see yourself as less talented, lovable or competent than others.  When you think of moving forward, if you don’t really know yourself, you may set a goal to be like your friend or neighbor - to do what is socially acceptable or what others expect of you.  It’s very hard to remain committed and follow through on difficult long-term goals, especially if you’re not really passionate about the activity. Rather than thinking about what you ‘should” be doing, take a look inside and ask yourself what you really want.  Perhaps you are a creative person, or want to travel, have life balance, live healthier, or find a caring partner.  Whatever it is you want, figure out what is the easiest thing you can do to get started.  Phrase your goal specifically “e.g., walk for 20 minutes three times next week.”  You can’t climb a mountain all at once and you’re more likely to achieve your goal with intrinsic (coming from the inside) motivation than when you’re just trying to please others.
我们都有不同的性格、脾气和喜好。并不是每个人都想成为律师、朋友成群、跑马拉松、瘦成闪电或者坐拥豪宅。焦虑让你觉得自己没有别人有天分、有竞争力，甚至不像别人一样值得被爱。如果你不了解真正的自己，在设立目标时，你很有可能会仿照你的朋友甚至邻居，去做一些社会认可的事情或是满足他人的期望。这种情况下设立的目标很难成为长期坚持的目标，尤其是那些你并非真正热爱的事情。与其总是想你“应该”做什么，不如换个角度想想你真正想要什么，说不定你是个有创造力的人，或是想要生活工作平衡、想去旅行、活得更健康，又或者你只是想找个可心的人儿。不管你想要什么，想清楚，然后找到最容易的入手的事情行动起来。把目标用具体的可量化的方式表达，比如：“下周散步三次，每次20分钟。”切记，不要想一步登天，一口吃成个胖子，另外达成目标最好是内部动机驱动，而不是为了取悦他人。

Trust the Process
信任过程！

As Martin Luther King Junior said “Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase.”  Even if you don’t have faith to begin with, faith will come if you just take that first step.  The more you take action, the more likely you are to have some successes and begin to trust yourself, the process, or the universe.  I often start writing a blog post not knowing exactly what I’m going to write.  I’ve learned that if I have a genuine intention to help my readers and a message to share, then the content will emerge. As many writers will tell you, if you just start writing, the ideas will form and your “creative masterpiece” will take shape over time as anxiety diminishes and you’re left with your story to tell or your genuine passion for the ideas you want to express.  The same applies to other aspects of life like starting a new job, project, relationship, or business venture.
马丁路德金说过:"信念，就是即使看不到长阶通向何方，却仍愿意迈出第一步。”即使一开始没有,但只要你迈出了第一步,信念就会随之而来.做得越多,成功的可能性就越高,慢慢地你会相信自己,相信过程,相信世界。我的博客常常开始于我完全不知道要写些什么的时候。我知道只要我有东西要分享,并真心诚意的想帮助读者,内容自然而然就会出现.很多作家都会告诉你,刚开始写作的时候，随着焦虑慢慢减少，到最后只剩下故事和传递想法的纯真热情，这个时候你的想法和创造性地作品自然而然就出来了。这个道理同样适用于生活的其他方面，比如开始一份新工作、新项目、新恋情或是新的投资项目。

Curb the Catastrophizing
不要小题大做

Anxious people tend to focus on what could go wrong and on how bad it would be if you took a risk and got a negative outcome.  What if you went on a date and the person turned out to be a jerk or they never called you back?  What if you invested a bit of money to start a business and it didn’t work out, or if you applied for a job and didn’t get it?  What if you changed jobs because you were miserable and found yourself in a worse situation?  While you wouldn’t want these outcomes, how bad are they really?  Are they as bad as getting cancer or a family member dying?  I’m guessing the answer is “No”!  Could you survive them?  Do you have coping skills you could use or could you try again or take a different approach the next time?  I'll bet you could!   Anxiety makes you overestimate the risks of taking action, but what are the risks of staying stuck in a bad situation?  Won’t  you regret not even trying to go after your dreams?
面对风险，焦虑的人习惯性地关注坏的结果，而面对负性结果时，他们也更倾向关注这个结果到底会坏到什么程度。他们会想，去约会如果遇到奇葩怎么办？万一我看对了眼别人会不会再联络我？投资创业失败了怎么办？换工作投简历没有反馈怎么办？不换工作当前的状态又让自己痛苦不堪怎么办？这些结果都不是我们想要的，但是他们到底有多糟呢？比罹患癌症更糟糕？还是比家人离世更糟糕？我相信答案一定是“不！”那么你能挺过去吗？你有应对的策略吗？或者等下次换个方式再试试？我相信你可以的！焦虑让你过度高估了采取行动的风险，但是不是也该考虑考虑一直处在糟糕状况下的风险呢？时过境迁，回想当年，你是否会遗憾面对梦想，你竟然试都没试就放弃了？

Be Your Own Cheerleader, Not Your Own Critic
做自己的拉拉队长，而不是自我批评家！

Going after your dreams is tough and you will face inevitable obstacles and failures along the way.  But you don’t need to make these barriers worse by beating up on yourself every time you do something that doesn’t turn out perfectly.  Many of life’s important outcomes have an element of luck or uncertainty.  We can control what we do, but we can’t control market forces or what other people decide.  You may speak up for yourself and get criticism and pushback, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you've done  something wrong.  Our brains naturally go to the negative because they are protection-focused, rather than promotion-focused.  To overcome this bias, you need to deliberately focus on the positives in the situation.  Honor yourself for taking a risk, leaning into your discomfort, or just showing up when you wanted to curl up on the couch at home!  You can’t control the outcomes, so praise yourself for putting in the effort and you’ll continue to stay motivated!
追逐梦想是艰难的，沿途要面对无数不可避免的阻碍和失败。有些事情结果可能不那么完美，这时千万不要打击自己，给自己增加障碍。人生许多重要的成功都有些运气的成分在里面。我们只能控制自己，不能左右他人和环境。你可以为自己辩护，也会因此而受到批评和打压，但是这并不意味着你做错了什么。大脑天生就关注负性信息因为它的机制是以保护为中心，而不是提升为中心的。要克服这种偏差，你必须刻意关注事情的积极方面。认可自己的冒险行为、适应不安、或者当你想蜷在家里沙发上什么都不做时，表现出来。你不能控制结果，但你可以鼓励自己在过程中付出的努力，这样你就能一直保持动力。

With these tools, you can begin to be the master of your anxiety, rather than letting it master you.  It’s not a matter of getting rid of anxiety (which is likely impossible).  Instead, you can choose to move ahead and keep taking constructive action despite the anxiety, thereby building resilience and self-confidence and opening up new possibilities for a productive and meaningful life. 
有了这些方法，你可以开始试着掌控焦虑，而不是让它掌控你。不能完全摆脱焦虑一点关系都没有（好像也不太可能）。即便如此，你还是可以选择向前进，采取结构化的行动，从而构建心理韧性和自信，为获得充实、有意义的生活创造可能性。

It isn’t easy, but it is definitely worth the effort!
这很不容易，但是我相信值得一试！